Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So vagazzling was a success
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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