Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
farters have to be the big spoon...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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