Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
