that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
