Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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