The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
