so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
