Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
