careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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