Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
