So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
