I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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