I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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