Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
