this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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