it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
