She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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