I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
