this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
