this beer tastes like vomit already
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
