i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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