i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
