Apparently you make a good broom.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
