Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
