just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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