hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
