Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
