Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
