i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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