We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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