you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
