At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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