Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
