Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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