Is it normal to miss your booty call?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
