Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
