dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
