How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
