Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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