my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
