who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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