so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
