He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
