we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
