thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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