That's intense
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
