i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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