Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
