I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
