Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
