woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I need to calm my uterus...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
