and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
